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He said "no mistakes allowed."
Just one of the puppets on his string.
Can't do anything unexpected because the consequences will be severe.
No,I can't face him now.
So I'm running away.
Because I know if I go back what will happen.
He'll disown me.
But if I keep running,
One day he'll find me.
One day I'll have to face the music.
I'll have to come to terms with it.
What good is running?
I can't let it overcome me.
The Lord does not give me a spirit of fear...
I will face it courageously.
I won't hide now.
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141,254 Literary Works • 674,330 Reviews
Hello, and welcome to YoungWriter's Society,
I agree with everything the reviewer above me has just said, but I would like to add that before posting a work of your own you have to review two other pieces of work, and I have noticed that you have posted multiple pieces of work without reviewing anything. There's a 2:1 ratio just so everything is fair and everyone gets there work reviewed and critqued. If you need anything to review or have any questions please feel free to PM me.
Have a great day,
Tiffany
Hi Sarah. I'm Conrad.
So, this poem seems a bit muddled to me. What I would like to know, really, is who the speaker is referring to when they say, "he". It's important enough that I think you should address it in the poem proper.
Also, I am finding that the way you start off your lines with the same word repeatedly gets to be somewhat tiresome after a bit. I would suggest that you try to figure out a way to fix that. Personally, I recommend condensing the poem a little, making it a bit more compact by combining shorter lines and whatnot.
You have a good effort here. You just need to work with it a bit so that it will be better. PM me if you have any questions or comments.
Good job, and good luck.
-Conrad Rice